In life, we fall in and out of love. When love dies, the decent thing to do is break up. But this happens after couples spent a huge amount of time together. During this time, lovers become each other’s confidants, sharing dark and deep secrets. Such is the euphoria of love.

But break-ups or divorces sometimes turn bitter. Parties tend to get back at each other by revealing secrets. Some go to the extent of airing screenshots, intimate photos or implicating their former lovers in crimes to get them arrested.

You see, when people are in love, no one ever dreams of a break-up. It is, therefore, noble to respect the things a lover or friend shared with you while things were rosy. Spilling details and secrets after things go sour, to me, is a sign of immaturity. Actually, my advice to people looking for love is to give special attention to how their new catch talks about their ex-lovers. If they speak about them with hatred and mockery, that is not the datable type. Maturity respects the past no matter how things ended between two people.

Revenge porn should be out of the question. Sharing intimate photos when in love should not be a tool to be used against each other when the affair ends. Despite pleas to avoid sharing intimate photos, people in love continue to do so. But what happens when a relationship ends is that the jilted party— mostly men— shares with the public photos the other party shared privately. The aim is usually to embarrass and harm the ex-lover. This is immaturity.

Society is an accomplice to this behaviour as it eagerly consumes the photos, joining in the frenzy of embarrassing an already hurt person. Embracing people who embarrass their ex-lovers is partly the reason many people still do it.

I recently overheard a discussion by some young men about the sex life of one of them and his ex-lover. He detailed intimate aspects with her while his friends enjoyed it. “Ndiponso amene uja ali ndi zipsera paliponse [after all that girl has ugly scars all over her body]” said the young man.

Many of us recall hearing something similar, but did nothing to rebuke such conduct. Instead, we listen and laugh. But this is not the kind of behaviour to emulate or enjoy because if not careful, one day we will find ourselves as a laughing stock when an immature ex-lover decides to throw dirt on us.

Though this has been said before, I will once again appeal to lovers; avoid sharing intimate photos….iyi yokha mavuto ake amakhala aakulu. Happy Sunday everyone!

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