Many times, quarrelling lovers say many stupid things that have seen couples split or in serious trouble. When Jesus said in Luke 6:45 : “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,” he clearly knew what we are capable of saying when angry. Those are the moments either the truth comes out to hurt the other party or lies just to spite them. But there is one that I would like to talk about today. The moment women will shout on top of their voices that; “the baby is not even yours. It’s so so’s.”

Watching Paternity Court in recent times, I have observed that this sentence always comes back to bite the mother. A calculating man always uses this against the woman who no sooner that she utters these words, runs back to the same man for support. He will parade those remarks to everyone who cares to listen and even finds an excuse to cheat. Why? He claims to have been injured severely and looks for solace in the arms of another woman. This is a man who will stop at nothing given this ammunition. Hospital and school visits immediately cease and he will demand she shoulders every responsibility on her own. Some will even demand a divorce or split-up.

I understand that honest people are drunks, children and the angry. Drunkenness and anger throws caution to the wind and will spill the beans. But one ‘truth’ I find unforgivable is stripping man of his parental rights over a child or children. In the heat of the moment, we make utterances, some of which are strong enough to curtail an argument. Because no matter how stubborn, will immediately shut-up to reflect on the revelation. I can only imagine a man’s reaction the moment those words ring in a room during a quarrel. They must be deflecting enough to cause panic. But that brief moment of triumph by the woman, multiplies itself a hundredfold when the time to redeem herself and the child or children comes. She will dance to his tune and bear humiliation on her back for days or years on end. The solution is simple. Tame that anger before it gets out of hand. And even in the midst of the hullabaloo, choose what to say. Claiming the paternity from his child or children should be the last straw. It deflects egos and viewed as unforgivable. It is criminal and unless you have the funds to prove otherwise, it can make or break— mainly break— the union. I would not blame any man who adjudicated his responsibilities as a father following such an utterance. In fact, nobody should. Imagine as a mother you wake up to being told that the baby you thought you carried in your womb for nine months and raised as your own was not yours. How would you take it?

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