Dear BMW,

I am a married man. One day when driving to Blantyre from Lilongwe, I met this young beautiful woman (Pa Thanki in Lilongwe) waiting for a bus. I stopped and gave her a lift. I struck up a conversation and we talked all the way.

She drinks and we stopped over so many times to fill up our drinks and stomachs with grilled goat meat. By the time we were parting, we were like old friends. We exchanged numbers and promised to hook up in Blantyre.

A month later, we became lovers. I moved the lady from some slum in Manje to a better house in Chilobwe and I have been paying her rent and school fees for her two kids, who even call me daddy.

But last month, I was shocked to find that she was off WhatsApp and when I try to call her, she cannot be reached. I decided to find out why so I tasked my themuthemu (errand boy) to stalk her. His report shook me and I will not even share it with you. But as they say if you know you know.

Should I dump her?

Kent, via WhatsApp, Blantyre Proper

Dearest Kent,

Like always, the BMW is always pleased to be part of the solution to people’s inter-relationship and intra-relationship issues. So, hearing from you, Kent , presents another opportunity for the BMW to make his contribution in shaping a better society.

Trust me, though sometimes the BMW is overwhelmed, but he is never tired of offering handy solutions to issues before his court.

Mr Kent, you have indicated the famous rush and pick-up point in the Capital City, Pa Thanki, as the genesis of what would later become a romance that soothed your soul and extramarital appetites. I have deliberately taken note of the point that you are a married man, whether happily so or otherwise, that’s a subject for another day.

I have a full picture of the depths a desperate man like you went to impress upon this Manje-based lady during this trip. And I know very well the tastes and preference of women in this league when it comes to their choice of beer. You must have parted with a substantial sum by the time you hit Kabula in your quest to quench the appetite of this lady.

But as per your narration, you seem a very generous and capable man, Mr Kent. You couldn’t stand the Mandela shacks and slums and you made a sacrifice to have your new-found love a place in the peri-urban Chilobwe. That was nice of you.

But wait a minute! What was your intention with this lady since you indicated that you are already married? Did you plan to make her your second wife and did you expressly convey that to her? What was your plan really minus the financial support that you were providing her?

This romance started at a quick pick-up stage Pa Tanki and that’s no formal way for one to find himself dating. The end of this relationship would never have been formal either. Dearest Kent, you are contemplating of dumping a lady who has dumped you already. Open your eyes and go back Pa Tanki for another round of luck.

Big Man Wamkulu

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!

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