I have often heard from mothers with disabled children or those born with a medical condition being accused of committing an unforgivable sin or practising witchcraft to be ‘rewarded’ with such a misfortune. People stare at that child with Down syndrome, epilepsy, albinism, disfigurement or any other type of disability. Some hospital personnel already condemn such a baby and ill-treat mother and child during hospital visitations. Society comes in with its own condemnation, prejudice and will sometime isolate such a family. Fellow women are usually the first to point fingers and instead of supporting a woman going through such a trial, they are the first to use it against her at any opportunity.

Listen, nobody, no matter how bad or good, wishes for a calamity, especially on those they love. The entire gestation period for most people is about praying for a healthy child, safe delivery and survival of the two; and even their preferred gender. Nobody chooses anything to the contrary and when it happens, the distress and frustration is real. To bear and raise a child out of the expectation hurts. And for some people to be adding salt to an open wound worsens the predicament. We are not God to judge and we need to stop behaving like wild animals by supporting each other.

There is always a reason something happens and nobody knows, but God. This life has a way of giving us situations we ordinarily would avoid or refuse if we were offered. It is called seasons of life. Hence, we are never consulted on the terminal illness, job loss, divorce, unruly child, deformity, rejection, accident, isolation, wrongful accusation, loss of our loved ones and bad luck. Who decides when it should rain or commands the sun to shine? It’s only God, the one who also decides summer, winter, autumn and spring. Everyone has something they are grappling with, possibly burdening God with the ‘why me’ question. It is a thorn they wish would go away, but it pricks on their flesh daily, sometimes forcing them to seek the intervention of their Maker, for believers, accepting failure in handling them on their own. There are things we would want to have happened better or change, but have no other choice. While we are quick to point at others’ trials, let us remember our own and be compassionate. We would not want constant reminders of our own predicament time and again, would we?

The next time we are tempted to blame others for their situations, remember it can happen to anybody. Place yourself in their shoes or simply put your trials to light and equalize. That is when you will know when to stop. God loves us all the way and who we are. He does not discriminate.  Everyone deserved to enjoy the free air we all enjoy without being antagonised.

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