Dear BMW,

I am a man aged 39 who has just re-married a single lady of 25. Both of us have children from previous relationships. We have been living together for the past two years but surprisingly she has never told me ‘Ndaimatu!. As you know society demands that married couples should have kids, so we have been to various hospitals and doctors to get help but to no avail.

We have been prayed for by prophets and prophetesses. We have fasted and camped on hilltops and mountains for a miracle of a baby but with disappointment. As a last resort, we visited a traditional doctor who made us drink all sorts of concoctions and every bitter herb to play around with my wife’s fecundity and to fan my loins, but alas nothing worked.

Biggie, what puzzles me is that I have my own child and this is evidence enough that I have enough fire-power to light up a womb of any woman. Why is she not falling pregnant?

What is even more awkward and frustrating is that my relatives want me to dump her and marry another woman who can give me a child.BMW I know children are a gift from God, but my relatives are having none of it. They want a baby in my house.

I love my new wife because we have been through thick and thin together. I cannot even fathom leaving her for another woman.

What should we do?

My wife forever, via WhatsApp, Zomba

Dear MWF,

Marriage is great. However, the whole concept has seemingly been overrated, leading to a widely held notion that every grown up has to get married and have kids.

Man, when you look at the sea of people during political rallies, sit in traffic for three hours because there are just too many people with cars these days, when every Sunday the pastor is baptising a child; you would be within reason to assume that child-bearing is a very common thing. But it’s not. Not all of us can have kids or want more children.

All your evil Aunties and Uncles want is proof that your former wife did not play you.

You see, my son, since you got together with your new wife, the expectation was that you will impregnate her. For an average Malawian child-obsessed mind, impregnating a woman you live with for years is a ‘crime’.

But I think, happiness in marriage is more than having children. Of course, children do bring happiness, but I think if you have children from previous marriages you can still get fulfillment and happiness from them. However, if you still feel you need to add one more noise-maker in your new family then you can adopt one? There are hundreds of children who are in need of a home.

That’s why I urge you not to listen to your Aunties and Uncles about divorcing your new wife and having more children when you already have two. They are not the ones who will feed your children!

Malawians, poor or rich, are child-obsessed. They make me sick. No wonder the population of this nation has swelled to 17 million.

Thank you, My Wife Forever for sticking up with your wife. Stop taking her to traditional doctors though, some of these doctors are too randy.

Enjoy your new marriage in peace and no one has a right to accuse you of firing blanks. You are not barren!

Big Man Wamkulu

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!

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