My recent entry was a question whether your child’s money is your own. There are parents who control their children’s money and get angry when they don’t get their way. Others even despise their children-in-law and grandchildren because of the competition in the budget. They feel entitled and make needless demands, sometimes even feigning illnesses just to get the lion’s share of their children’s income. This, in a nutshell, is what I wrote.

Today, I have another question. And before we rush to respond, please understand carefully my point of argument. This question has nothing to do with any responsibilities a couple may agree to share around the house or in child support. This money has nothing to do with individual obligations, gifts or bills.

I am sure we all know that after the common basket, everyone has money they set aside for whatever need, meaning personal purses are permissible. If for some reason a partner asks to borrow the money, does the action automatically make them entitled and unanswerable?

A three-month marriage is already on the rocks because the husband took the wife’s money on false pretext. Upon inquiry, she learnt that he used the money to pay off debts instead of getting what he was asked to. It’s still unknown how this will end. Another wife involved ankhoswe when her husband failed to pay a debt. He was hounded to the point of fleeing the marital home until he brought back the credit. Peace reigned afterwards. Many people, especially women, have lost money to partners and most of the times when reported to the police; the couple is encouraged to talk things over because this is an agreement made between two people in love.

Now comes my question, is your partner’s money yours? Should they pay back their debts to each other, after all they share a bed? Is borrowing a way of ‘taking’?

Listen, being in love or married should not mean stripping the other of their money. If they bring money to the table and serve the home, that is well and good. But everyone is entitled to utilise their money aside from just the home because they have other obligations. If you borrow the money, pay it back.

The police, may be hands tied sometimes because love has a way of making people behave irrationally. People may give each other money unconditionally. But because there is a thin line between love and hate, when something happens to anger the giver of the money, the demand for the ‘gift’ arises. That is why it becomes tricky to differentiate between a gift and loan. However, if it’s is registered as a loan, pay it back please because a lot is at stake. Relationships have been compromised and some ended because of the non-committal to repay.

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