I want to be a middle man when I grow up

I want to be a middle man when I grow up

Dear judge Mbadwa,

I am a student still in high school, my lord, and I was wondering what kind of career I should pursue when I grow up or as soon as I graduate from college.

My lord, looking at the events of the past two weeks alone, especially listening to testimonies of public officials summoned by joint committees of Nyasaland Legislative Assembly and a Public Accounts Committee of the same this week, I am convinced beyond reasonable doubt that a middleman or a dobadoba is the most coveted position in Nyasaland now.

My lord, I was telling colleagues who envy engineers, accountants, economists, doctors, lawyers and all those glamorous careers that they are wasting their time memorising theorems and  formulas to become these people.

My lord, all those men of letters dance to the sad tunes of middlemen or brokers. You heard me right, my lord, middlemen are the ones calling the shots in all sectors of life.

If ‘big people’, including modern day politicians, rely on middlemen to make things move, is there any need for technocrats?

The dobadobas know how to multiply taxpayers’ money to benefit themselves, government officials and politicians as well as suppliers.

I submit that we have been using the wrong template in trying to develop the country by emphasizing the need for industrial growth because what needs to be developed in Nyasaland is the middlemen industry.

My lord, the dobadobas have rendered the manufacturing industry, the service industry and any other industry you can imagine, irrelevant.

This country, my lord, doesn’t need companies that make fertiliser because middlemen can bring the much-needed fertiliser as long as they share the spoils with politicians and other public officials.

My lord, there is no need for public officials to stammer their way to negotiate fuel supply deals when middlemen are around.

In the middlemen industry you don’t need to have business capital or established offices. All one needs is proper connections to the powers that be.

I am sure we are wasting our time hyping Nyasaland2063, yet we have ignored the role dobadobas would play to bring development revolution in the country.

My lord, I have already collected names of influential people who will make me a better dobadoba.

These are connections that I need and to show that I am serious my lord, I have changed my name to that of Chief, too, so that I fit in the environment middle men operate in.

Would you, therefore, convince the public universities that devolved from Nyasaland University to start offering courses or programmes in dobadobalogy as a starting point?

Regards,

Chief Citizen.

The post I want to be a middle man when I grow up appeared first on The Nation Online.

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