Dear BMW,

I snoop a lot, please help me.

You see, everyone deserves to be loved just as much as they love. I believe that love should be given and taken, in equal measure. There’s nothing as bad and frustrating as being in complicated relationships where one doesn’t know where they stand in their partner’s life.

For me, it’s better to know your status so that you don’t exaggerate your presence and importance and know how much love you should dole out or whether you just punch ‘left’ at midnight like a stingy relative from a funeral WhatsApp group. That’s why I snoop to know how I stand.

Please understand me Biggy! It’s not like I am always set out to snoop. I could be chilling, minding my own business and trying to be the nice wife everyman dreams about, but then my snooping instincts will just kick in. And I will start looking at his phone. When he goes to the bathroom, I will try to unlock it. When it’s open I try to install spying apps!

If you get what I mean, this addiction is bad you can’t just help but peep.

How do I stop it before I break his trust?

Snoopy Wife, via WhatsApp, Manja

Hey Snoop,

I know privacy ends when two people are committed to be married. I also know that mutual trust in the family is a very basic phenomenon.

When you snoop like a dog, what are you looking for? Even if you don’t tell me, I know you think your hubby is cheating on you and you want to get that info.

So far, you have nothing. But do you know, a clever man like your hubby, if he were cheating, he could be having another phone and another line you are not even aware of. Trust me, the possibility is that he may have used your National ID to register that mobile phone card .

That is a basic truth, if your man were a cheat, you could not catch him.

I will give you an analogy. There was this other girl in the ghetto. After every three months she was going for an HIV test. Everyone in the neighbourhood thought she was a very good example about young people who want to know there status and make plans for their lives.

I had a different idea. Not only did she expose that she was promiscuous. If not, then she must have been using too many toothbrushes not her own. Or else, she was so fond of body piercings that she feared she was infected, at one point or the other.

At the end of the day, I asked her: “Since you go for tests every three months, when you find what you are looking for, are you going to be happy or devastated?”

That was the last time we talked.

So, Snoopy, please be in peace. Get rid of your bad snooping habit. You are no much better than a drug or cigarette addict. You are an enemy of progress.

Get a life, these are days of artificial intelligence and your hubby’s gadgets are in essence his mind.

I will tell you one thing. You are one of those wives who know all their husbands’ pincodes but theirs are privy. You will die with your passwords and no one will claim that money you are hiding from your hubby.

Stop snooping and be open!

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!

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