Dear BMW,

Do I need to tell the guy I’m seeing casually that I don’t want to have a relationship with him? We met shortly before the pandemic and didn’t see each other until this summer.

We both had break-ups from long-term relationships during the pandemic. We both have very busy careers and decided to keep things casual.

We’ve been together for about a month now, and it’s very clear that he has strong feelings for me. But they are not reciprocated.

He’s fun enough and a good guy, but to be honest, he is just too boring for me to date. I’m worried that his feelings will get deeper and I’m going to hurt him.

From what he’s said, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought the casual relationship could develop into something more.

Should I tell him that casual is as far as it will go with me?

Please help,

Sweet Pie, via WhatsApp, Lilongwe.

Dearest Sweet Pie,

The Covid-19 pandemic has been responsible for a lot of things. Some bad, others good!

We have pregnancies and unions which have all been attributed to the pandemic. Years from now, we will not be surprised to learn that one child somewhere was named Covid-19 after this pandemic.

So madam Sweet Pie, your case is not peculiar. But I am trying to read and read hard to fully appreciate the complexity of the issue at hand.

You say the guy is good and fun to be with and at the same time, you say he is just too boring for you to date. How is that possible? Maybe the problem is not the guy, but yourself. Will the BMW be wrong to conclude that the Sweet Pie is one weird character? How lofty are your standards in certifying someone fun enough to be with?

One aspect that we people avoid is to make an introspection of our character before we seek infallibility in our potential partners.

In relationships, it’s either all or nothing. If you think he is not one you can stay with then let him go. You are wasting his time to find someone who will appreciate him fully for what he is and you are also wasting your time to find someone who will be fun enough to date. Sweet Pie, do the sweet thing and let the poor man go!

Biggie

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