In this life, we sometimes find ourselves with information about our friends’ partners. It is a common secret that some of us know that our mulamu is cheating but we keep quiet. Recently, two young women fell out of favour after one discovered that her boyfriend was cheating and her friend knew about it but kept the information to herself. Which brings me to this question: Do you tell when you discover that your friend’s lover is cheating? Do you keep quiet? What is the better way of handling things?

Well, personally I believe in telling the truth always. As they say ‘the truth is the safest ground to stand upon’. But then again there are reasons why some of our friends decide to keep quiet when they discover information about the person we are dating.

One of the reasons friends keep quiet is because of our reactions. Oftentimes, when people are in love they think with their hearts and not brains such that even when a friend or a relation is giving them incriminating information about their lover they refuse to believe it. A story is told many times of a friend who upon discovering that mulamu was cheating ran with the information to the friend only for the betrayed party to turn around and accuse the friend of being jealous. Due to such experiences, many people pretend they do not know about their mulamu’s escapades. Others are afraid of looking like fools after the two lovebirds talk about their situation and move on hand in hand. Honestly, such developments can make the informer look like a bad person.

And then there is the other side of things. Those of us who believe that whenever we hear anything concerning our mulamu, we will rush to tell our sister or friend without even considering the consequences. This is because no matter how the other party reacts to the truth, living a life of pretence is never an option.

Personally, I would prefer my friend telling me about any infidelities in my relationships. I think discovering that a friend knew and did not say anything would hurt on a different level.

I know many people say they will not tell because they do not want to get involved and that it is not their business. My question is: Is it not your business that your friend knows the truth?

On the other hand, rumours about cheating can be unreliable. The risk of damaging a friendship forever with the wrong information is the only thing that may stand in the way of telling a friend about their partner’s infidelity.

All in all, I think it also depends on the level of friendship. Sometimes, it is indeed not your place to say anything because you are not very close. In this case, even if the information is true, the other party on the receiving end may feel like you are just out to get or humiliate them.

On the other hand, I think as a mature human being, getting information about a partner cheating from a friend needs to be handled cleverly. Even if you are not sure about the sincerity, do not rush to accuse them of trying to humiliate you, damage your relationship or lying. Take time to find out the truth and handle it from there. Otherwise, if you ask me, I am all for telling the truth no matter the consequences.

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