So, a man is discussing with his friends about a new dress his wife has made.  He believes it is too long from the norm that she usually wears. Upon inquiry from the wife, her response was that she does not need his input or permission to get her wardrobe. The husband clearly did not like the long dress because it did not ‘suit’ what he was used to. She did not feel obliged to seek permission on ‘matters of her heart’.

Well, another of his friends chirped in to complain that his wife, too, went ahead to chop all of her hair for the trendy short hair styles. He complained that as a person who lived with her constantly, his preference was longer hair or weaves. He did not mind the new look, but preferred her old look.  

A young lady confided in me that her mother is perpetually checking her dressing to work. If a dress is not too short, it was too long, too revealing or too old fashioned for her mother to approve. In the end, she decided to stop taking her correction because she felt they were becoming unconstructive criticisms. She would do what her heart desired.

But are we obliged to tell or ask our loved ones about a new look? An old school would actually encourage communication pertaining each other’s looks, especially spouses or partners. When one loves the other, they should care about their looks, even suggesting a hairstyle or suit choice. A single person would be at liberty to pick his or her look of choice, but again, with extended families, a few suggestions and input should be allowed.

But with these freedoms in the name of human rights and individualism, can a suggestion even survive? Everyone is concerned about how they express themselves or report anyone who seems to be in their way of following their hearts. Everyone is entangled with laying bear their legal entitlements so that even the slightest of comments about a hairdo or outfit sends fits flying across rooms or nasty exchanges on gadgets. Comments are misconstrued for infringement of rights.

Listen, if someone you love compliments you or even suggests a wardrobe or look, take it positively. Unless the relationship is already hostile, I believe people can and should consult each other. Consultation is not a final decision, just part of a process. n

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