I have discussed here before how women are sometimes their own worst enemies. Experience in the newsroom, for instance, has shown that female sources are the hardest to deal with. They have a list of excuses each time they are approached for a comment in a story or asked to be featured in various media spaces. The confidence they exude in other forums suddenly disappears when it comes to giving interviews. Apart from the lack of confidence, many are just rude and believe journalists should beg them for their attention. Wrong.

These are people with loudest mouths when ignored. When journalists decide to deal with men, there are workshops and conferences held ‘sensitising’ them on giving equal spaces or more to women. But the reality is a self-inflicted abandonment through untamed attitudes.

Women’s attitudes are not limited to the source base. If they are not pulling themselves down, they target others, opting to deal with the opposite sex. Take for another example, a male nurse in a maternity ward. A mother in need of help finds it easier to approach the male nurse for help than her fellow woman. Many women are temperamental and disrespectful. I have experienced this, to the extent of being asked to pick a sweet wrapper off the floor hours after a Caesarian Section. My guardian stepped out for a bit and the nurse on call picked an opportunity to tell me off. This was at a private hospital.

Even in the workplace, employees prefer to deal with men than women because of their stuck-up attitudes. Service provided by men is usually better.

Our Brains and Family stories on pages 3 and 4 are about promoting and empowering women. They resonate with the popular message for the International Women’s Day that fell on March 8. Minister of Gender, Children and Community Development Jean Sendeza, on page 4, urges women to advocate for one another in the empowerment drive. This is important because sometimes we destroy ourselves by our attitudes. Other women simply dislike fellow women and decide to deal with men. But in all this, the woman is the loser. The chain reaction starts somewhere and if only we could break the cycle, it can be a win-win situation.

There is no woman without women. There is also no woman without herself. We refuse to promote a woman without substance, including attitudes. Women by their nature love attention and pampering. But in the public arena, that stops and you become a servant. If you bring superiority complexes to the ballot box, business or any decision making arenas, you are committing suicide. One way or the other, failure is bound to catch up with you. Let humbleness, servant hood and passion drive women’s agendas. Confidence need not be insulting.

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