What happens when you are hurt by the one you love? Women have many questions about their relationships and are discouraged by the lack of support and information they receive from family and friends.

Many times when women try to seek advice from family and friends about an abusive partner, the response and advice from them is usually one that only confuses them more.

In a society like Malawi where getting married or being in a relationship is perceived as a great achievement for a woman, making a decision to leave an abusive relationship becomes even harder. This is so because the woman fears being ridiculed or called a failure for leaving her man.

Therefore, she hangs on because she is afraid that the world will reject her for making a decision to leave an abusive relationship.

Usually, the result is bodily harm and in the worst case scenarios, even death.

On the flip side, there are men who are also living in abusive marriages and relationships, but feel powerless to call it quits because society expects men to hide their feelings as doing so is seen as a sign of weakness.

Two incidents recently had me in tears. A woman was killed by someone she loved and another one was battered by her husband.

These are just a few of many such cases that have been reported, but we know that many others go unreported.

No one expects to be hurt by someone they love. However, sometimes there are tell-tale signs that a partner is abusive and even worse, that they can kill.

When it comes to that, love should not blind you. Open your eyes and leave before you get hurt.

To family and friends, the best you can do in such situations is to offer the victim of abuse a shoulder to cry on and not to confuse them by making them feel like they deserve the abuse. There is nothing that justifies violence towards your partner.

It hurts to wake up to news of a woman who has lost a limb, has been disfigured and even killed because of love. It hurts even more when some misguided people try so hard to justify the abuse.

Love should not hurt and if it does, do not hesitate to leave before you lose your life. Your life is more precious than love or other’s opinion.

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